Saturday, July 30, 2005

Funniness from work...

Just a little background, REACH is the group of kids fresh out of college at Boeing (it stands for Regional Events and Activities for College Hires). Once a month, we have an official "social"... where someone organizes some event... and we all go. A couple weeks ago, we went to Emerald Downs to bet on some ponies. The next social is being organized by my friend Wick. Here is the email he tried to send about the event:

If you're a recovering alcoholic who has been dry for months, this is the perfect time to start hitting the bottle again. Tell your AA support buddy to buzz off and sign up for the first annual REACH wine tour**. A detailed description of this wine chugging binge is shown below. I know that its more expensive than most socials, but its going to be awesome and I went through two intense rounds of artful negotiations to get us this excellent price of $45 (which includes a kick back to the corrupt REACH officers). Kelly promised to do her John Belushi 'Animal House' imitation where she downs an entire bottle of Jack Daniels at once.

We'll be transported on buses, and I still need to iron out the details on that. We plan on having a pick up at a South Seattle Boeing location. We might also have a pickup in Everett if enough people show an interest to justify that. Its important that you remember to bring your ID or you might be refused wine tasting. Interns under 21 are welcome to come, but they will not be able to drink any wine... unless they can get creative with photoshop and a high quality printer. Any friends outside of REACH or Boeing are always welcome.

J. Wick
Boeing Phantom Works
Secret Evil Weapons Program

Then, this is the update to the event that he wanted to send out. Luckily he was talked out of sending this out... because it might not have been for his employment.

Hello All, its not too late to sign up for the wine tour. Laura needs
your payment by August 6th, see details below. If you RSVP to Laura she will give you instruction on how to pay online with paypal. We already have 68 people signed up. Don't miss out on what's bound to be the most legendary REACH social experience of all time. To answer a few commonly asked questions:

Yes, there will most definitely be drinking on the bus.

No, I do not have a funnel, but you're welcome to bring your own (uhmmm...funneling wine... that sounds good...)

No, we will not allow a breathalyzer contest to see who can achieve the highest blood alcohol level while remaining conscious (that could get dangerous, plus we all know that Kelly would win that one hands down)

Laura will get back to us on lunch details.

The pick up location will be at the Museum of Flight by Boeing Field. Non-Boeing people be sure to use the museum parking. If you venture elsewhere on Boeing property, our security forces will take you out like a seal team on an Afghan terrorist.

Right now it does not look like we will have a bus going to Everett. Only 9 Everett people have signed up out of 68. That's pretty weak guys.... I guess IDS employees are way cooler....
I hope to see you all there!

Phantom Works
Secret Underground UFO Research Lab - Alien Morgue
Acronym of the day: CRAP - Classified Reports and Publications

Ok... maybe you don't think these are as funny as I do, but its my website and I'll do whatever the CRAP I want.

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