Thursday, July 22, 2004

Summer Dreams, Ripped at the Seams (But ohhh, those summer nights)

Here we go folks. A guest column by the lovely <unnamed girl> (she doesn't want to deal with any possible crap generated by the post).

A little over a month ago, when I started my internship at Boeing, my expectations were of: gaining great finance experience, networking with top business execs, and adding the oh-so-prestigious Boeing name to my resume. Time has passed now and I have since received a roundhouse to the face from reality. It’s to be expected though, right? What young, average looking female with sub-par intelligence [Adam's Note: previous statements, untrue!] doesn’t fantasize about her summer internship? If I can’t dream ambitiously about an esteemed internship, what can I dream about? (mmmmmmmm Justin Timberlake....)
Once I sobered up to reality, my Boeing hangover began. I began to see Boeing, and especially the internship program, clearly. Although this may come as a shock to the majority of you out there on the information super-highway, the Boeing internship program is a farce [AN: good usage!]. Appalling as it seems, the program is nothing but a front for a geeked-out dating service.
Since working at Boeing I have been asked out four times. That may not seem like a lot to girl who’s half-attractive, but to us ladies in the Boeing internship program, that’s the most attention I’ve seen in years. The first 2 invitations for a night out were flattering. After all, who doesn’t like a free meal (I would say something about Mary-Kate right here but I’m more sensitive than that) [AN: I don't get it... do you?]. Once the third intern asked me on a date, I began to suspect that something was afoot. Then my suspicions were confirmed last week when the forth guy asked me to have lunch with him [AN: oh crap, was that me?] At that very moment I felt like the most gullible dope in the world. How did I not see this before? Of course this isn’t a real job; this is just a singles mixer.
I, myself, have a couple of theories why every intern function feels like an episode of the early nineties classic, “Love Connection” (side note: Chuck Woolery is a golden god). My first hypothesis is so far-fetched that even Adam wouldn't print it. My second and more realistic postulate is that engineers, IT “specialists” (emphasis on special) [AN: yup, I'm special], and business aspirants in general, are desperate for action [AN: Was that suppose to be a revelation? Sit in a CS class, see how many guys talk to you. 0, thats right, we're dorks... we can only dream about sex... never attain]. How else can this phenomenon be explained? It seems as though all these highly qualified students have a little extra confidence when it comes to the opposite sex this summer. Everyone’s coming out of their shell and putting out the vibe. On top of that, these engineering and IT kids are walking around like they’re the Zack Morris’ of the company. Only at Boeing are engineers cool. Only at Boeing are IT kids funny [AN: she's cuttin' me deep]. Only at Boeing can these guys score dates [AN: Not I!]. Only at Boeing can a girl like myself rant about how annoying it is to be asked out by guys with real jobs. Only at Boeing, I guess.
I accepted this internship because I thought I'd get invaluable work experience. Not because I'd get innummerable date invitations. If I get asked out one more time... I'm gonna dry heave... trust me. I don't need a date; I have VH1 (A wholly owned subsidiary of MTV).

She told me to edit it, and make it a little funnier... as you can see, I failed. These aren't her exact words, but I'm gonna guess that those were 98% her words.

So, in the interest of making this post longer... I must defend the prestigous Boeing Intern Program!

to us ladies in the Boeing internship program, that’s the most attention I’ve seen in years
I would say that a good percentage of the girls in the program are actually really attractive. In the words of my roommate: "I'd do stuff". The author of this article included. AND, she's got a great personality (I'm laying it on thick, so she feels bad about making fun of IT guys :)

Appalling as it seems, the program is nothing but a front for a geeked-out dating service.
I have a few problems with that sentence. First off, its hard to read... but, I think thats my fault for not paying attention K-12. Second, most of us doing internships are really cool. Seriously. I know its not saying much, but most of the interns here are way cooler than me. Third, I still don't have a date... and aside from like 3 or 4 unconfirmed couples (I hear things), nobody else is getting any action.

“Love Connection” (side note: Chuck Woolery is a golden god)
Lay off the VH1. I think you've seen enough for everyone.

Only at Boeing are engineers cool. Only at Boeing are IT kids funny.
Thats not true. Engineers are cool at schools like Purdue apparently. And, the IT kids aren't funny... ever or anywhere... she made that up.

Adios Britchs!

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