Saturday, March 17, 2007

The Levels of a Relationship


I've spend a considerable amount of time in the past two years trying to find a woman I like, and that likes me. Because I was a little overweight from high school through college, I missed out on some of the social education that you normally gain during that time. Specifically, what you learn about "wooing" women. Since I've graduated, I've lost a few pounds... and started learning about the process of the woo. Because I'm a nerd, I've made some PowerPoint slides about it.

Relationship Levels

The Levels - Slide 1 - The Levels
I created the original four Levels during a rant at a local drinkery. I was then asked to recount my levels a few more times after that. They seemed to get more and more defined with each iteration. Most of my friends, at this point, have heard my Levels... so I thought I'd share them with a broader audience. And what better way than through my blog?
The three additional Levels have only been added in the last month or so.

Relationship Timeline

The Levels - Slide 2 - Timeline
There is lots of Level jumping at the beginning of a relationship. This makes sense because the beginning of a relationship is often hectic. Things generally smooth out and because less hectic the longer you've been together.
Of course, proceed at your own pace. And, when I say "your own pace," I mean the pace that has been set forth and agreed to by both parties. One person wanting to move faster than the other is not going to work.

Relationship Costs

The Levels - Slide 3 - Cost
These are really rough estimates, because these numbers vary so greatly between different women. Some women would expect higher percentages than this, some women won't.

Concluding Notes

  • It should be noted that I am in no way an expert in relationships, not even close. There are a few women around the Seattle area that can confirm this. What I am, is a huge nerd... and I thought it would be funny to make these slides.
  • Of course, when you meet the right girl/guy. All these levels and Gantt charts and cost ratios go right out the window. It just happens.
  • If you are a girl I've dated or am currently "in a relationship" with... don't take any of this personally. There isn't anything in here that is specific to any one girl.


megabrooke said...

ha, i love it. very thoughtful, and um, time consuming.

Free Radical said...

So I wrote out this long-a$$ reply and sent it, and for whatever reason it didn't accept, so I just walked away from it all in abject disgust. But as much as I like comments to MY blog posts (which I’ve yet to receive, actually), I figured I should give it another shot so here it goes ... but all my best and most humorous bits are completely gone from memory now. FEH! ...

Your post amuses us, mortal! You know, my one-and-only ex told me before that I was too analytical about everything, and actually he’s nto the only one to tell me that. Oddly, I am most analytical about relationships! Maybe because I’m the most unfamiliar with this area and need to think about it. I may not be a robot-racing, capacitor-testing geekophile, but I’m not far behind you in the techno-geek arena. So maybe it’s just part of the experience? Case in point: I remember ONE episode of Star Trek where Spock had the hoochie coochies for some Vulcan wench, while Kirk couldn’t seem to keep his shirt on. Or is his pants, probably, if they ever release the lost footage DVDs or whatever! Haha ...

Anyway you have to forgive the giggle and smirk as I pored over your PowerPoint slides. Two thoughts occurred to me which I do feel worth relating. Point number one: you can’t analyze and project map relationships, I don’t care how thorough you are (and, um, you’re thorough). Sometimes you just have to live it and let yourself be part of some larger project plan. Point number two: you’d probably get at least mostly into Level 3 more often if you spent less time producing really well-composed and thoughtful PowerPoints! Just sayin, all my friends say that, in additio nto being WAY the hell too picky, I never leave my cave (I have PowerPoint on my home computer, too). ;)

So I guess I’m one to preach? At 43 I’ve dated ONE PERSON EVER, and that lasted only three months. We’re best friends now but the train left the station. And I can count how many “Level Two scenarios” I’ve had on one hand, so to speak. Drs. Phil and Ruth I ain’t!

Hey ... how are you with Excel? lol

Anonymous said...

Hey Adam,

I was googling for some info on the boeing internship program and came across your awesome site. Keep it up, terrific stuff! (Especially this post :D) Anyways, I'm getting started this summer so I'll keep parsing through for more good advice.

Take care.

Kimberly said...

This is awesome. I wish I could have heard the actual rant where all this level talk started. I guess we are all tempted to overanalyze something as personal as relationships...we just do it in different ways. My analyzing is completely irrational and usually happens with intermittent crying spells of insecurity. But I liked the statement about it just happening when it's right - that's been my experience too. All the analyzing goes right out the window and you wonder why it was never that easy before. Good luck on continuing to chart the journey :)

brandy said...

Wow! See, I just drink beer and rant. But charts and graphs?? That's intense. Good job!

Carrie said...

Wow... first time here and I will definitely be back. Those charts and screen caps are fantastic and hilarious! Talk about a visual representation...

Anonymous said...

Wow - can't believe how thought out this is... someone is quite the thinker! ;)

masil said...

I would love to read charts and comment !!!
However not being a computer nerd how to I enlarge these so I can read them ??

I was 'goggling'- the 7 levels of relationships according to the Gnostics !

I expect to find some spiritual content :)

Sup said...