Monday, June 28, 2004

Acronyms and Marriage

      So, I've got the motivation to put up a new news post. Let’s see if this one will be good. Let me give you a brief overview of what this post will be about. First, and foremost it will be about acronyms. Boeing let them out of their cage, and they're literally EVERYWHERE. Second, my first friend got married this summer, and I've got 2 more good friends tying the knot this summer, and I want to talk a little bit about this marriage phenomenon sweeping my age group.
      If, for the sake of this article (and for a little bit of comedic chutzpah), I have to go the bathroom. If while at Boeing, you speak concise normal English, you receive 5 lashings. So, I would have to say that "I'm working on the Tile-Urinal Interface". But, this again would incur lashings. In proper BG (Boeing Gibberish) I would have to say: "I'm reestablishing the uplink in the TUI." And for preparation, I need to spend at least 50 minutes drinking coffee (or water out of my coffee mug, so I still fit in) and BSing (Bull Shitting) with other employees. Of course, I could say: "I-H-T-G-T-B," or, I could even try to pronounce it: "I hot got b." While, no one would understand what this means... 90% of the people I said this to, would just smile and nod like they knew what I was talking about. And, there are 2 possible explanations for this. 1) They don't want anyone to know that they don't know EVERYTHING. No one there wants to admit that. I think my project leaders are impressed when I ask what an acronym means... because they're used to people just using the acronym without knowing anything about it. 2) This acronym actually has some meaning other than what I've assigned it (in my head at least). Some quick math leads to 308,915,776 unique 6 letter acronyms. Which, I'll admit... is a metric shitload. But, there are almost 200,000 Boeing employees (not really... but there are a crapload of them too). Each employee only has to come up with 1544 (and some change) acronyms. And, if Boeing steals 25 years of your life, you only need to come up with 61 acros/year. Sound hard? pshhh, I could do that in my sleep (ZZZZZZ... only 60 left to go).
      On to marriage. I'll admit I'm a little jealous of my friends getting married. I think it’s because most of them are marrying their best friends. So, that said: no, I will not marry you. I'm not ready physically or mentally (I have no idea what I mean by that...). But, I know this: Bachelor parties rule, and so do receptions. We went up to Vancouver BC for this particular party. We stayed at the YWCA. It’s just kind of fun to stay that, but basically it’s just a Hotel that’s run by the YWCA. It’s just a normal hotel that is pretty cheap to stay in. Strip clubs rule, I love boobies. Alcohol rules, I love not remembering stuff. That’s all I've got to say, mostly because that’s all I remember, boobs and alcohol.
      I grew up catholic, so I'm used to catholic weddings, and this wedding was definitely not a Vatican sanctioned event (VSE). The pastor was a woman! And to kick the pope in the nuts... she was a lesbian. She did however give one of the best weddings I've ever seen (and believe me... because I've seen like... 3). The best part was when she told the story of how the couple met. She left out the drugs and alcohol, and the fact that the first time the groom talked to the bride, she was topless and playing strip poker (and apparently she's not very good at it. and... um.... boobies).
Then came the very catholic portion of the wedding. Free booze. 3 kegs, like 150 bottles of wine, and a gallon of vodka (for Cosmos).

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry you're missing my wedding Adam. There are 2 different ceremonies (Catholic and Buddhist), and lots of Remy and champagne.

Anonymous said...

Dude I came across this site after googling "boeing acronyms". I just moved to AEW&C and I'm trying to learn the language. Funny read...

Later,
BEMS ID: 9832142

Just kidding.

Mark 42 said...

I was at a meeting... first day on a new program...
asked what some acronym meant...
Got the answer, then said "Sorry, I hadn't been brifed on that TLA".

What's a TLA?

Three Letter Acronym.

It took a minute for the laughing to stop.

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Anonymous said...

I did almost 30 years of federal time at the Boeing Company. My favorite acro was "BFD" (Buyer Furnished Data), a = document that we had to fill out back in the 20th century. Boeing even has nested acronyms - which I believe should earn the originator a 2-day timeout.