Summer Dreams, Ripped at the Seams (But ohhh, those summer nights)

Here we go folks. A guest column by the lovely <unnamed girl> (she doesn't want to deal with any possible crap generated by the post).

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A little over a month ago, when I started my internship at Boeing, my expectations were of: gaining great finance experience, networking with top business execs, and adding the oh-so-prestigious Boeing name to my resume. Time has passed now and I have since received a roundhouse to the face from reality. It’s to be expected though, right? What young, average looking female with sub-par intelligence [Adam's Note: previous statements, untrue!] doesn’t fantasize about her summer internship? If I can’t dream ambitiously about an esteemed internship, what can I dream about? (mmmmmmmm Justin Timberlake....)
Once I sobered up to reality, my Boeing hangover began. I began to see Boeing, and especially the internship program, clearly. Although this may come as a shock to the majority of you out there on the information super-highway, the Boeing internship program is a farce [AN: good usage!]. Appalling as it seems, the program is nothing but a front for a geeked-out dating service.
Since working at Boeing I have been asked out four times. That may not seem like a lot to girl who’s half-attractive, but to us ladies in the Boeing internship program, that’s the most attention I’ve seen in years. The first 2 invitations for a night out were flattering. After all, who doesn’t like a free meal (I would say something about Mary-Kate right here but I’m more sensitive than that) [AN: I don't get it... do you?]. Once the third intern asked me on a date, I began to suspect that something was afoot. Then my suspicions were confirmed last week when the forth guy asked me to have lunch with him [AN: oh crap, was that me?] At that very moment I felt like the most gullible dope in the world. How did I not see this before? Of course this isn’t a real job; this is just a singles mixer.
I, myself, have a couple of theories why every intern function feels like an episode of the early nineties classic, “Love Connection” (side note: Chuck Woolery is a golden god). My first hypothesis is so far-fetched that even Adam wouldn't print it. My second and more realistic postulate is that engineers, IT “specialists” (emphasis on special) [AN: yup, I'm special], and business aspirants in general, are desperate for action [AN: Was that suppose to be a revelation? Sit in a CS class, see how many guys talk to you. 0, thats right, we're dorks... we can only dream about sex... never attain]. How else can this phenomenon be explained? It seems as though all these highly qualified students have a little extra confidence when it comes to the opposite sex this summer. Everyone’s coming out of their shell and putting out the vibe. On top of that, these engineering and IT kids are walking around like they’re the Zack Morris’ of the company. Only at Boeing are engineers cool. Only at Boeing are IT kids funny [AN: she's cuttin' me deep]. Only at Boeing can these guys score dates [AN: Not I!]. Only at Boeing can a girl like myself rant about how annoying it is to be asked out by guys with real jobs. Only at Boeing, I guess.
I accepted this internship because I thought I'd get invaluable work experience. Not because I'd get innummerable date invitations. If I get asked out one more time... I'm gonna dry heave... trust me. I don't need a date; I have VH1 (A wholly owned subsidiary of MTV).

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She told me to edit it, and make it a little funnier... as you can see, I failed. These aren't her exact words, but I'm gonna guess that those were 98% her words.

So, in the interest of making this post longer... I must defend the prestigous Boeing Intern Program!

to us ladies in the Boeing internship program, that’s the most attention I’ve seen in years
I would say that a good percentage of the girls in the program are actually really attractive. In the words of my roommate: "I'd do stuff". The author of this article included. AND, she's got a great personality (I'm laying it on thick, so she feels bad about making fun of IT guys :)

Appalling as it seems, the program is nothing but a front for a geeked-out dating service.
I have a few problems with that sentence. First off, its hard to read... but, I think thats my fault for not paying attention K-12. Second, most of us doing internships are really cool. Seriously. I know its not saying much, but most of the interns here are way cooler than me. Third, I still don't have a date... and aside from like 3 or 4 unconfirmed couples (I hear things), nobody else is getting any action.

“Love Connection” (side note: Chuck Woolery is a golden god)
Lay off the VH1. I think you've seen enough for everyone.

Only at Boeing are engineers cool. Only at Boeing are IT kids funny.
Thats not true. Engineers are cool at schools like Purdue apparently. And, the IT kids aren't funny... ever or anywhere... she made that up.

Adios Britchs!

Should Food Be THIS expensive?

So, the enigma known as corporate cafeteria, must know be exposed. The food tastes like ass. There are only a couple of explanations that I can think of. They are the only 2 logical iews to take, and I'll examine both of them... because, I take food seriously.

View 1
The corporate machine wants to take as much money as possible from me. They charge ridiculous prices because I have to be at work at 7:30, and they know that its next to impossible for me to get up early enough to put on clothes... let alone make a sammich and other crap for a lunch. AND, if they have me chained to my desk all day doing work, and I don't have time to drive off campus to get food... I'll have to go get a $6.00 cupcake, and a $4.00 for a Reese's Piece (just one, the pack is like... $20).

View 2
Local Businesses pay Boeing to keep crappy food on-campus so we're forced to go out to lunch. I mean... I work in Renton, and for a city of this size, they have an incredible number of restaurants. For a city with one movie theatre, would you expect there to be 1000 restaurants? What kind of ratio is that (well... actually its like my CS classes... but, lets not talk about that). If you want Teriyaki, get ready to walk half of a block. If you want to watch a movie... well... you've got a 15 minute drive. Anyways... I digress.

No matter which view you believe to be correct, I know we can all come together, and agree that corporate cafeterias don't serve food worth eating. Luckily, if they decide to give it to me for free, like... at a morning meeting, or a special event... it tastes better. Wait... no it doesn't. But, I will eat it... because free food is awesome.

And, for the end, a little note. I really do enjoy working for Boeing.

Quickie

Some of you have expressed interest in this video. It is me and some of my friends from last summer (trying) to wakeboard. Enjoy.

Crashes Movie

Are You Serious?

I've got a guest columnist this week, because some people thought it would be cool to have me post something about someone other than myself... go figure. With out further ado, here's Joe.

      My first impression of the Boeing company was that to be desired of. I was offered the opportunity for employment back in March of 2004. My PEP [Adam's Note: wouldn't you know it... another acronym. Pre-Employment Paperwork] session was “tentatively” scheduled for May 19th and orientation the following day. From March on, I hadn’t heard a thing regarding any forecasted problems that might interfere with my starting date at the Boeing Company. School then culminated at the beginning of May and off to Hawaii I went for a week. When I returned, I headed for Washington to start my new summer job. I checked my email and phone messages religiously for the week I was on vacation, just in case there was something I had forgotten in the application process and would have to take care of. No news is good news right? I drove up to Seattle and arrived on the 17th of May. This was ample time to get acclimated with the land and Renton so I could navigate. On Tuesday the 18th, I had the inclination to call Cheryl Coleman, the woman who offered me the job, just to double check that everything was set in place. The conversation was very disappointing. Cheryl informed me that she was so glad I called, there was some misunderstanding with my background check. It checked out okay, however Cheryl either didn’t make a note of it on my account, or she wasn’t notified. Either way, that meant unpleasant news for me. My start date was moved up, and I was never notified. So in other words I basically drove up to Renton to sit around for a week. Needless to say I was very disappointed in the way this situation was handled. It wasn’t so much the fact that I wasn’t starting work as scheduled, it was the fact that I wasn’t notified when the employment ball had been rolling since March. Mrs. Coleman informed me that she had been doing her job for 14 years, kind of sad if she doesn’t have it figured out by now. She made the same mistake to several other interns as well this year. My opinion at that point of a world renowned company was hitting a low. I thought things couldn’t get much worse, however I was wrong.
      I come from a background of actually having to bust my sweet ass to earn my keep. I have fought wildland fires for the last 5 summers before this internship, and before that I used to farm A LOT! When I was top hand (and the only hand) on the farm, I was making $1500 a month, worked 7 days a week, and at minimum 12 hours a day. Firefighting wasn’t much easier, it wasn’t uncommon in the busy season of the summer to accumulate 200+ hours in two weeks. It does feel very good though paying for a semester of tuition in two weeks. When I arrived to my first day of real work, I had breakfast with my level 1 manager, he explained how things worked around here and that basically sounded like blab la bla to me. He then said let me show you your desk. We started walking and headed into the 10-80 building, the cubicle sea. Cubicles as far as the eye can see, columns with numbers on them, people walking around, it was all confusion. All I could think was, please don’t make me work in here, please. “Ok, here it is”, he said. Goddamnit. I don’t want to be stuck at a desk for the duration of the summer, I want to be out in the factory solving problems, I’m a manufacturing engineer, that’s what we do. Or at least that is what I was taught in school. Well now that I was there, what do I do? My mentor was on vacation, didn’t know where to go for information, and I didn’t have anything to work on, even if I did I wouldn’t know how to do anything anyways.
      So for two and a half weeks I read WebSPOT training on the internet, trying to learn how the planner works around here, this particular department had a lot of legacy history that was critical to the knowledge of today. So there it was, I was getting a fluorescent lighting tan, staring at a computer screen all day, and I was making more than I had ever made per hour before. Corporate America at its finest. Things have gotten progressively more interesting, gotten involved in some projects that have peaked my interest for about five minutes, but for the most part it is pretty slow. One of the hardest transitions was being inside all the time. That still drives crazy on nice sunny days. We’ll see how the rest of the summer goes, until next time…Joe out.

Joe forgot to mention that we can't even SEE a window from where we sit, let alone what it looks like outside. For all those kids at work at Boeing right now... get back to staring at your screen and looking busy! For all the managers reading this: all this was done from home... we didn't spend precious screen-staring hours for this :)